Joe's Jet Lag Protocol

[By Joe]

Flight Reservations:

PLAN using the flight planning spreadsheet (modified as needed) to get perspective on the relationship between the time zones you'll be traversing.

Try to PICK FLIGHTS that are continuously in the air during the nighttime of the DESTINATION time zone

Make sure you get a WINDOW seat, so that you can crash out against it, rather than on the shoulder of someone next to you who might get the wrong idea.

Day of departure:

PRINT out and take these instructions with you and put them in your wallet/purse. On the day of departure, set your clocks (watch, phone if possible, calendars, etc.) for DESTINATION time. On the day of departure, ACT like your bedtime is going to be the time you will start sleeping on the plane, that is, DESTINATION bedtime. This means: Don't drink caffeinated beverages or eat chocolate within many hours of this time, don't drink a large amount of liquids within a couple hours before (you don't want to have to wake up and pee in the middle of your blissful sleep. Also, don't drink alcohol, because it will make you have to pee.

Eat enough of a meal before you fly that you will feel OK about missing the meals on the flight (you'll be asleep, or in a liminal state).

Build up SLEEP DEPRIVATION before you fly, so that you will be tired and have enough sleep debt to keep you asleep on the plane. One trick for this is to procrastinate on packing until bedtime the night before you fly so that you end up staying up very late obsessing over what to bring, but there are many other methods, many of which involve other people.

Get to the airport EARLY, so that you don't get massively stressed out and can be in a state suitable for sleeping.

Make sure you snag a PILLOW right away on boarding the aircraft, or else bring one of your own, so you can crash out against the window.

Close the windows next to you (which you are allowed to do since you have the window seat) ASAP so that your body starts to think it's nighttime.

Bring warm clothing so that you can STAY WARM enough to remain sleeping on the plane, despite their lame-o tiny blanket, which they may even try to charge you for.

Bring and EYE MASK and EAR PLUGS (preferably orange in color so people see that you are ignoring the world and don't try talking with you. Nothing personal.). Find an eye mask that is comfortable to you, there are many types, learn to wear one you are unfamiliar with them. Same with the ear plugs. Both are crucial. There are direct neural connections from the optic nerve to the pineal gland, which releases melatonin and regulates sleep. Deeply automatic. PEE just before you get on the plane or else on the plane (if that's something you like) just before your sleeping time. Take 10 mg AMBIEN (you need a source/prescription) and 1 mg MELATONIN (over the counter in the vitamin section) 15 minutes before your sleep time. The Ambien puts you to sleep, and the Melatonin resets your biological clock to bedtime. Do NOT then get into a conversation with the person next to you, due to risks of continuing due to social obligation, interest, etc. Read a dense book about something you should know.Put the airplane blanket over yourself as a symbol that you are sleeping and then buckle SEATBELT OVER THE BLANKET in a way that is visible to others so that during any upcoming turbulence they don't have to wake you up.

Tell the person next to you that you don't want to have any meals, and will just be sleeping (but note caution above).

Take note on your destination-timed watch when you PLAN TO WAKE (after 8 hours from now). When you get sleepy (and you will), put down your book, put in your ear plugs, put on your eye mask, lean against the window, and fall asleep. If you wake up partially, don't worry, just lie there and relax and let yourself fall back asleep. If you wake up midway and really can't sleep, even after 15 minutes of giving it a chance, then take 5 mg more Ambien.

Once you wake after 8 or so hours, ACT LIKE IT"S MORNING. Open the windows, turn on your reading light, and get a cup of your favorite caffeine source from the flight attendant, these further program your biological clock. Get into a lively conversation with your neighbor. Read something exciting, or whatever. Maybe watch an adventure movie (I haven't tried this). Don't have an alcoholic beverage because it will make you tired, and also signal evening-time to you (unless you have a more all-day type of relationship with alcohol, which I don't recommend, anyway).

Post flight, for THREE MORE DAYS:

Don't think about what time it is in the old time zone. Avoid having to do those calculations. Let others do them.

Stay up until bedtime no matter what. Drink coffee if need be. Don't eat huge filling lunches that are likely to trigger a post-prandial somnolence Don't drink coffee close to bedtime. Have a glass of wine with dinner if you like. Take 1 mg Melatonin at bedtime (can taper to 0.5 mg for dose #3, then to 0.25 mg for dose #4) Keep your Ambien close to you for security. You probably won't need it, but if you do have trouble falling asleep, take 5 mg at bedtime. DON'T STAY UP TOO LATE. If you want to be on a 2AM - 10AM sleep schedule (hey, you're on vacation, time to party), then stick with it, and don't then obsess over some book on immunology until 6AM just because you can.

Get up in the morning, open the curtains, expose yourself to light. Have breakfast. Drink tea, coffee, or have large quantities of DARK chocolate with your breakfast. Go out and walk around in the morning! Enjoy!

If you're anything like me, you will have virtually no symptoms of jet lag if you follow this protocol. Not nighttime pacing in the dark, no dizzying fatigue in the afternoon, etc., even on the first day there. You may notice tiny slips of the alternate reality tug at you from time to time, but they are faint, ineffectual wisps of a forgotten world.

Let me know how it goes. Bon Voyage! Joe